Easier Said Than Done : Fundraising Urban Legends Debunked

Knowing the true legends from the untrue can save you a lot of trouble.

Night of the zombie donors
Here's an insidious legend that circulates at fundraising conferences, constantly gaining new believers. It says that the moment after a donor gives, she immediately enters a state of suspended animation for three to six months. Waking a donor from this state — which can happen if you give her an opportunity to give again — will cause her to become a sort of zombie that will murderously pursue you with intent to not donate for the rest of all time, and to the end of the universe.

Status: False
I'm happy to report that this belief is not at all true. The more recently a donor gave, the more likely she is to give now. Giving leads to giving. Fundraisers who act on this false belief cause severe damage to their organizations, mostly in the form of self-inflicted low retention rates.

The out-of-control trademark lawyers
One fear-mongering story says that the United Way has trademarked the words "please" and "thank you." This would effectively monopolize nearly all forms of fundraising. The rest of us are screwed.

Status: False
When the United Way's attorneys looked into copywriting key fundraising terms, they discovered the unpleasant truth that Microsoft already owns "please," and Google owns "thank you." The rest of us, including United Way, are screwed.

More cooks, better broth
Many fundraisers swear by the belief that large numbers of people working in committees are the path to excellence. They assemble platoons of reviewers and commenters on their fundraising projects. The more difficult, unusual or innovative the project, the more people they put on the committee. It's estimated that the entire city of Atlanta is composed of people who review fundraising projects.

Status: False
This unfortunate belief results from bad math: Many fundraisers think that the IQ of a group is the total of the IQs of all its members. In reality, the correct way to calculate the IQ of a group is to take the IQ of the least intelligent member of the group and divide it by the number of people in the group.

So that guy — you know, the one who's not terribly bright, who insists that no sentence should be less than 25 words because "people don't respect simplistic language." Adding him to the committee will not add 87 more points to the committee's IQ. You're far better off without him. And nearly everyone else on the committee, as well.

The part about Atlanta is true.

Who wrote the Bible?
A popular Internet rumor has it that fundraising guru Mal Warwick is the actual author of the Holy Bible, in addition to his other popular books about fundraising.

Status: Unclassifiable veracity
We have not been able to disprove Mr. Warwick's authorship of Holy Scripture. Since he wrote more than one book that could be called "the Bible of Fundraising," how much harder would it have been for him just to write the Bible?

Escape from experience
For several years, a story has been spreading among nonprofit HR circles that if you hire someone from the business world with no nonprofit experience, she automatically brings special, magic "Success Dust" that she can sprinkle everywhere, making everything wonderful.

Status: Mostly false
While some people from other professions bring new perspectives and a breath of fresh air, far too often refugees from the for-profit world fail to bring their listening and learning skills with them. So they spend a lot of time and money reinventing various wheels. And their new wheels are — how do we put it gently? — usually triangular.

And that Success Dust they sprinkle around? Turns out it's just regular, old dust they gathered from the piles of money they used to make at their old jobs.

Gummi Worms
It's widely believed that FundRaising Success magazine pays its columnists in Gummi Worms.

Status: Unclassifiable veracity
I can't comment on this one. I love Gummi Worms, and I wouldn't want to stir up jealousy and conflict among my fellow columnists. 

Jeff Brooks is creative director at TrueSense Marketing (truesense.com) and keeper of the Future Fundraising Now blog (futurefundraisingnow.com). Reach him at jeff.brooks@truesense.com